Meditating may help you get pregnant - but how do you meditate if you’re a Type A personality?

Just RELAX.

One of THE most frustrating pieces of advice I was given throughout my fertility journey.

This was closely followed by, just go on a holiday and it will happen.

First of all, being told to relax has the opposite effect on ANYONE.

It’s the same as CALM DOWN. I know for a fact that never in the history of calming down, has anyone ever calmed down, by being told to calm down.

And when you’re a Type A personality, perfectionist, get shit done, independent control freak with an overactive mind (like me), the concept of relaxing or being calm is completely foreign.

We all know that stress has an impact on your ability to fall pregnant, and Meditation is one of the best ways to reduce stress.

But what if the thought of meditating makes you roll your eyes and creates a whole new level of anxiety?

SURE, THERE ARE LOTS OF FERTILITY MEDITATIONS, OR GUIDED FERTILITY MEDITATIONS WHEN GOING THROUGH IVF, CIRCULATING ACROSS YOUTUBE.

But how does someone who cannot sit still or clear their mind, meditate?

I tried to meditate more than a few times when I was trying to conceive, but the only thing it did was piss me off and make me feel even more like a failure than I did before. From then on, I gave up and figured that it just wasn’t for me.

If only I had someone break it down for me and explain it in a way that MY brain could comprehend, it would have been much easier and I wouldn’t have approached it with trepidation.

So, this is for the ladies who are on their fertility journey and want to learn how to create calm and reduce stress, to get their baby on board sooner.

It is for my fellow Type A personalities who have struggled to meditate in the past and are willing to give it another go because you’re exhausted from pushing, and you’re craving peace on your path to pregnancy.

Tips on how a Type A personality can meditate on their fertility journey -

1. Get rid of the picture you have in your head of how meditating is supposed to look

I always imagined a perfect space, sitting cross legged in the mountains with waterfalls, and spending an hour in deep meditation with zero thoughts, and having an out of body experience. I was searching for perfection within meditation. This is not a movie, nor are you the Dalai Lama. So remove the expectation and the picture in your head. Meditation is not about being perfect.

2. If at first you fail, try try again.

Each time you try will get you closer. You will learn new things that work. You will find music that helps, and an environment that helps. You can work this out. Just don’t give up. Approach it like you do your fertility journey. You get back up after every fail and get back on that horse, so do the same thing with meditating.

3. Set some boundaries around your meditation session.

Meditating doesn’t have to be a big monumental thing. In as little as 5 minutes you can make a difference. Set a timer and switch your phone to silent. The dishes and the washing can wait for 5 minutes. This is not the time to do your shopping list in your mind either. Give yourself a break from being productive for the next 5 minutes.

4. This is not a waste of time – so treat it like a task and schedule it in your day.

Meditating will actually create efficiencies in your day. You will be more productive after meditating because your mind will be clearer and you will feel more energised. Ever tried to read a book when you’re tired? You read the same sentence over and over again. A 5-minute task may take you an hour complete. But if you had a 30-minute nap, you could wake up and do the task in 5 minutes. Look at meditating the same way.

5. Don’t punish yourself when thoughts come up – because they will.

It doesn’t mean you’re failing – it means you’ve finally stopped and your mind is trying to get your attention. I like to compartmentalise my thoughts when they come in. See them and then visualise little boxes (because I like organisation and structure), then file the thoughts away for later.

6. Guided fertility meditation.

These are great if you need a little guidance and a reminder to clear your mind and bring you back to the present when your mind wanders (and it will).

7. Create your own visualisations.

If you’re not a fan of the fertility guided meditation or being told what to do, that’s ok. I like to do it my own way too. I usually do a scan by visualising each part of my body from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Take 3 deep breaths for each body part and visualise and feel the tension remove from each.

8. If you still can’t empty your mind, fill it up with something better.

Input your own word, like a mantra and keep repeating it in your head. It could be Relax (although I’m not a fan of this for obvious reasons) / Love / Calm / Peace.

Above all else, give yourself some grace. Sometimes it will work, and sometimes it won’t. Meditation is about having compassion for yourself.

You don’t need to be a spiritual goddess and you don’t need to change your personality to learn how to meditate when you’re on your fertility journey.

Create a practice that works for you.

You can hear all about it in my YouTube video HERE too.

AND if you're looking for other ways to create some peace and calm into your life, the doors to THE LIGHTHOUSE PROJECT are now open.  A self paced, online course where you can learn techniques to help you cope with the stress of infertility and get back on track.  You can learn more HERE.