Angry. Bitter. Resentful. Here's the Real Reason Why (And What to Do With It)

Let’s talk about something that no one wants to admit out loud:
You see someone announce their pregnancy - maybe their second, or third... and you feel a wave of resentment.

Your chest tightens. Your jaw clenches. You scroll past like, “Oh yay. Another one.”

And immediately, your inner dialogue jumps in with the guilt:
“God, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be happy for her?”
“She didn’t even try… she got pregnant by accident!”
“She doesn’t even eat well! I’m over here timing my supplements with the full moon and drinking warm lemon water out of glass jars while she’s eating Doritos and somehow pregnant again?!”

Cue: spiral.

If that’s you, let me say this loud and clear... You are not a bad person. You’re just hurting.

It’s Not About Them

Here’s the truth that might help you exhale a little:
You’re not frustrated because they have a baby.
You’re frustrated because you don’t - and it feels so bloody unfair.

You’re not resentful because your best friend got pregnant without even trying.
You’re resentful because you’re injecting yourself with hormones, drinking enough water to drown a camel, and still don’t know if this round of IVF will even work.

You’re not bitter because your sister-in-law is pregnant with her third (ok, maybe you are a little :)).
You’re bitter because you’re still waiting for your first, and being asked to smile through baby showers and bump updates.

You’re not angry at them.
You’re angry that this is your story.

Why That Spiral Doesn’t Help (Even If It’s Normal)

Now let’s talk about why this kind of inner spiral (while totally human) is also kind of sabotaging you.

When we constantly compare, stew in resentment, and tell ourselves we’re terrible people for feeling this way, we:

• Push ourselves further into victim mentality (ugh, I know. No one likes that word, but let’s call it what it is).
• Burn mental and emotional energy on being angry… instead of taking actual action that supports our journey.
• Start believing we're broken, mean, or unworthy - and then we punish ourselves. (“I shouldn’t feel this way.” “I’m awful.” “No wonder I can’t get pregnant.”)

All of this leads to inconsistency in how we show up for ourselves.
We stop taking our supplements regularly. We stop meal prepping. We fall off the sleep and hydration wagon. We go back to scrolling and seething, thinking we’ll “start fresh on Monday.”

The more time we spend stewing, the less time we spend moving. And that’s the real problem.

So What’s Really Going On?

You’re not actually mad at her baby.
You’re grieving your own empty arms.

You’re not jealous of her.
You’re grieving the version of you who thought it would be easier.

This isn’t about other people’s lives.
It’s about yours, and how painful it is to feel like you’re doing everything right, and still getting left behind.

But here’s the thing...

What if you're not falling behind at all?

The Reframe That Changes Everything

This is something I talk about in The Consistency Code (my masterclass for women going through IVF who want to unlock consistency without burnout). There’s a whole section on resentment and how to lighten the load of it.

So let me introduce you to a little reframe.

Before infertility, I didn’t know a whole lot about my body. I didn’t know much about my cycle, or mental health. I didn’t know anything about nutrition beyond what diet culture told me.

But now, years late, deep in perimenopause, I’m using everything I learned during that chapter in order to balance my hormones (again).

The protein goals. The non-toxic swaps. The nervous system support. The emotional resilience. The self-awareness.

It didn’t just help me then - it’s helping me now.

So yes, your sister in law might be pregnant again while surviving on Diet Coke and McDonalds, but guess what? That work is still waiting for her.

The work YOU are doing. The changes you’re making. The things you’re learning about your body, your health, your boundaries, your mental load, your relationships...
That is lifelong stuff.

You’re not falling behind. You’re getting ahead. You’re getting the head start that will serve you for decades.

She might catch up. Or she might not. But that’s not your path to manage.

Let That Sink In

So next time the resentment hits, don’t shove it down. Don’t shame yourself.

Just pause and say: “Oh hey. This isn’t about her. This is about me. And my grief. And my growth. And how f*cking hard this has been.”

Feel it. Then move.

Because staying stuck in resentment doesn’t make the baby come faster. But staying consistent? That might.

Want More Reframes Like This?

I go deep into this inside Ready. Set. IVF: The Consistency Code — my signature masterclass on how to stay consistent, confident, and emotionally sane while preparing to do IVF.

And don’t just take it from me - here’s what Katie said:

“I love the resentment part and how you suggested to reframe it… that I’m getting ahead in other ways, not falling behind. I know we’ve talked about this, but the simplicity of how you stated it on that slide struck a chord.”

So if this blog hit home? If you’re nodding while side-eyeing your cousin’s third pregnancy announcement?

You’ll want to check out The Consistency Code.
Let’s stop the guilt.
Let’s stop the all-or-nothing spirals.
And let’s get you back into action — with ease.

👉 Join The Consistency Code HERE.