A love letter to the woman who just made the decision to start IVF.

To the woman who never thought she’d be here…

Dear beautiful soul,

I know you didn’t picture this.

This wasn’t the dream when you were little and imagining motherhood. You never thought you’d be the one Googling IVF clinics or sitting in a fertility specialist’s waiting room, trying to hold it together while your heart broke quietly inside your chest.

Maybe you even said “I’d never do IVF.”
And yet, here you are.

Not because you want to be. Not because this is the easy path. But because you are willing to do the hard things for the chance to hold your baby.

That’s not weakness. That’s not desperation.
That’s bravery. That’s love.

I know how torn you feel right now.
I know the heartbreak of realizing that your body hasn’t done what you thought it would.
I know how lonely it feels to sit with that realization, especially when others seem to get pregnant effortlessly, casually, accidentally, even carelessly.

You’re allowed to feel angry.
You’re allowed to feel sad.
You’re allowed to feel like this isn’t fair, because it isn’t.

IVF isn’t a badge you dreamed of wearing.
And it’s not the kind of “choice” that feels like freedom.
It’s the kind of choice you make when your back is against the wall, when the alternative is time slipping away while you wait and hope and pray for a miracle that just doesn’t come.

You might be feeling ashamed. Embarrassed.
You might not want to tell anyone because saying it out loud makes it real, and you’re still hoping this is all just a weird detour in the story.
You might feel like you’re less of a woman. Less capable. Less whole.

Please hear me when I say: You are none of those things.
You are not broken.
You are not failing.
You are not alone.

IVF has a way of shaking your identity to the core. It makes you question your worth. Your strength. Your womanhood.

But you are still you.
The same fierce, loving, deeply capable woman you’ve always been.
This path doesn’t take away from who you are, it reveals what’s always been there: your grit, your tenderness, your capacity to keep going even when you’re scared.

And I know you’re scared.

Of the hormones. Of the procedures. Of the financial strain.
Of not knowing what’s going to happen next.
Of how the weight of this whole process somehow ends up falling squarely on your shoulders.

Yes, your partner may be right there beside you.
But let’s be real… there’s a difference between handing over a cup and injecting yourself nightly with hormones that hijack your body and emotions. There’s a difference between being there and being the one whose body carries the process.

It’s a lot. It’s overwhelming. And it’s ok if you don’t feel ready.
Nobody really does.

You don’t have to have it all together.
You don’t have to be positive all the time.
You don’t need to fake hope if you’re not feeling it.
You’re allowed to grieve the dream that didn’t unfold the way you thought it would.

But please don’t mistake your grief for weakness.
Please don’t confuse your fear for failure.

What you’re doing is incredible.
Even if it doesn’t look or feel like courage right now, it is.

So here’s what I want you to know, as you stand at the beginning of this next chapter:

You are allowed to feel all of it, the hope and the fear. The resistance and the relief. The sadness and the strength.

You don’t have to pretend you’re ok if you’re not.
You don’t have to know what you’re doing.
You don’t have to explain your decision to anyone.

You are enough, exactly as you are.

IVF may not have been part of the original dream, but that doesn’t make you any less worthy of it coming true.

So take a deep breath, beautiful woman.
You’re allowed to be scared.
You’re allowed to cry.
You’re allowed to hold hope in one hand and heartbreak in the other.

And when you’re ready to take that next step, know this:
You don’t have to walk it alone.

With love always,
Jen xx

If you’re not sure where to begin, or how to prepare yourself for what’s ahead, The Playbook is a free guide I created to help you get ready for IVF in the most grounded and supported way possible. It’s filled with practical tools, mindset shifts, and reminders that you are more than enough for this journey. You can download it right here.

And no matter how shaky you feel right now, I want you to know this:
You are allowed to hold your head high.
You can walk into this new path with quiet power.
Not because it’s easy. But because you are ready.
Ready to take the next step.
Ready to face the unknown.
Ready to begin.

You’ve got this.
And you’ve got me walking beside you.