When you’re navigating your way through infertility on your path to parenthood, in my personal experience, there are two things we struggle with the most……
Firstly………UNCERTAINTY. The constant questions of……..could this ALL be for nothing? Will I ever become a mother? If I do IVF and invest all that time and money, will it work?
When you’re talking about infertility, there are very few things that are certain.
And secondly ………the WAITING.
On my 7-year fertility journey, those two things drove me crazy!
This was the first time in my life that I realized that I was not always in control of the outcome. That I could do ALL of the things people were telling me (and I was!), and still not see two lines on that pregnancy test. Which, as a self-confessed control freak, frustrated the heck out of me.
And when you’re trying to conceive and having fertility issues, this journey is made up of wait upon wait upon wait. You wait for your ovulation window, for your partner to get home from work so you can have sex, the freaking two week wait, waiting for test results, waiting for your doctor’s appointment, waiting for your period to start, for your period to end……
I’m also not the most patient person. So this perpetual state of WAIT would drive me to insanity.
The answer is…..by developing ROUTINES and creating HEALTHY HABITS.
Why do those help?
Well, imagine you’re waiting yet again, and there is nothing you can do. Your doctor can’t give you a guarantee, and so you’re floating, feeling useless and out of control. Imagine you see a life raft in the distance. Something that you can pull yourself up on and start paddling. A routine is like a life raft. It gives you what you’re craving most.
It gives you purpose, distraction and the knowledge that you are actually DOING something.
And in those moments when you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster which is headed for the ground and you’re holding on for dear life, it stops you from plummeting toward the earth. It provides you a way to step off the rollercoaster, and move toward the Ferris wheel instead. Basically, it gives you a smoother ride.
Well, I wish it was. While simple in theory, creating a habit can be a challenge.
Question - how many times have you started a fitness routine, only for it to stop within a matter of days when you come down with the flu or when work starts to get hectic?
Or what about when you decide to eat healthy, only to fall off the wagon when it’s Judy’s birthday at work and they bring out the chocolate cake?
And when you fall off the wagon, you start punishing yourself, right?! No wonder I can’t fall pregnant - I can’t even commit to exercise or a healthy diet! Maybe I don’t deserve this? If I can’t do this, how will I ever be a mother?
Well – those were the thoughts that would go through my head anyway.
Plus, it’s bloody hard to create a habit when you’re tired. And infertility is exhausting. Some days just pulling yourself out of bed is a chore, so how is it possible to find the energy and the motivation to actually DO the thing?
You know WHAT you need to do, but HOW do you actually get your ass off the couch and DO it?
Because of these questions, I decided to do some research of my own. So, 21 days ago, I made a commitment to do 30 minutes of exercise, every single day for 21 days straight.
I was sick of my exercise routine being inconsistent. I’d be motivated on Monday, but by Wednesday I’d make excuses and stop exercising altogether. Then of course, I figured there was no point in starting again until the next Monday, so I’d do nothing for the rest of the week. This start stop mentality was doing my head in – I am a naturally motivated and driven person, but I couldn’t work out how to be consistent.
Then I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to create a habit. I have no idea whether it’s true or not, but I set out to prove (or disprove) it.
And here I am 21 days later, having created a healthy habit. It worked! And now that I know that I can do 21 days in a row, I can commit to exercising with consistency.
Here is what I discovered about HOW to stay consistent.
I know the creation of routines work in helping you on your fertility journey. Whether it’s a morning routine to set yourself up for a successful day ahead, or a nighttime routine to ensure you get a full night’s sleep. A routine will give you comfort AND control over your day.
This is exactly what I do with my fertility coaching clients. We create healthy habits and put in place routines to even out the uncertainty, and allow them to take back control. And the more you do it, the stronger you become. The more confidence you get back in your ability to stick to something. You FEEL the results.
And when you receive an insensitive comment, or see your 5th pregnancy announcement for the day, while it may feel like a kick to the gut, it doesn’t have the power to knock you out cold.
If you’d like to know more about what it would feel like to coach with me, you can book a FREE 30-minute call. For more information, click HERE.