8 Failed IVF Cycles: Here's 8 Things I Wish I Had Known Early On in My Infertility Journey
Jul 21, 2026
You've just googled things I wish I knew before starting IVF at 11pm, again. Maybe your cycle failed and you're trying to work out what went wrong. Maybe you haven't started yet and you're trying to prepare for something no one can actually prepare you for.
I did nine IVF cycles. Eight of them didn't work. Our son Luca arrived after the ninth. So I know exactly why you're up at 11pm searching for answers, because I was doing the same thing.
In episode 3 of Ready. Set. IVF, I share the eight things I wish someone had told me before I started, so you can skip the years of guesswork I went through.
What it actually feels like to be in the thick of it
No one warns you about the specific kind of exhausting that IVF is. You're gritting your teeth through a family barbecue after a negative test. You're sobbing in a bathroom at your friend's baby shower, then walking back out to smile while she opens the gifts. You're getting a call that none of your embryos fertilised, then dialling into a work meeting thirty minutes later like nothing happened.
You become a fantastic actor. Not because you're fine, but because everyone applauds you for being strong, and nobody applauds you for falling apart. So you perform.
This isn't you overreacting. Studies comparing the psychological toll of infertility to other major health diagnoses back this up, this is genuinely one of the harder things a person can go through. And if you're stuck coping with a failed IVF cycle right now, please hear this: there is no right or wrong way to feel about it.
What I get into in this episode
I walk through the eight things I wish I'd known from the start, the stuff no one sat me down and told me.
I talk about the sneaky everyday chemicals messing with your hormones, the ones hiding in plastic containers, receipts, and your skincare, and why I still avoid them even now that IVF is behind me. I talk about the maze analogy that changed how I think about planning cycles, because the more you plan ahead, the harder it is when things shift, and in IVF, things always shift.
I get into why some of the emotions you've been told are "bad", angry, jealous, frustrated, scared, might actually be the thing getting you through, not something to fix or suppress. And I unpack why we blame ourselves after a failed cycle, cataloguing everything we did wrong, when really that self-blame is just our brain trying to grab back a sense of control we never had in the first place.
The biggest thing I want you to take from this episode
You are not being left behind. It might feel that way when everyone around you is onto their second or third child and you haven't even gotten off the blocks. But there's no such thing as being behind in life, there's only where you are on the path you're creating. No one else is walking your exact path, so no one else gets to set the pace for it.
Listen to Episode 3 of Ready. Set. IVF.
Other links and resources:
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Download our free IVF-Prep checklist and get IVF-ready without the overwhelm:
https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/the-playbook
Join the waitlist for She is... Ready: an online program to keep you calm and grounded through IVF's hardest moments:
https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/waitlist-she-is-ready
1:1 Coaching:
https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/fertility-coaching
Would you like to know more about how you can work with me, so you can get back control of your life and start moving forward? My 1:1 coaching program is packed with information, tools and support. Find out how you can get on the wait list now.
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