10 benefits of getting pregnant later in life (and being an older mum)

For seven years, my birthday wasn't a celebration. It was a countdown.

Every candle felt like one more reminder that my biological clock was getting louder. I started trying to conceive at 33, on my honeymoon, back when the world had already convinced me that 33 was old to be starting a family. Looking back now, that's insane. But at the time, it was everything I feared.

If you're deep in IVF right now and your birthday fills you with dread instead of joy, I want to talk about the fear of being an older mum, because I lived inside that fear for years, and I came out the other side with a completely different view.

The Picture I Had in My Head

I had a whole imagined future of what being an older mum would look like, and none of it was kind.

I pictured being mistaken for my child's grandmother instead of their mother. I imagined standing at school pickup next to mums in workout gear while I stood there flabby and wrinkly in sweatpants, certain everyone was talking about me behind my back. I worried I wouldn't be able to keep up, that I'd be the mum sitting on the park bench too scared to move in case I broke a hip, while my kids ran laps around me.

I was terrified I wouldn't live long enough to see them graduate or get married. I didn't want to be the mum who says "back in my day" one too many times.

None of that has happened. Not one bit of it.

Now I'm 50, and Here's What's Actually True

I turned 50 this year. Luca is 11, Sophie is 10. Technically, yes, I'm an older mum. But my kids don't see it that way. To them, I'm just Mum.

And here's the thing I wasn't expecting. I actually love being an older mum. There are real, tangible benefits to getting pregnant later in life that nobody talks about when they're too busy telling you your eggs are running out.

I'm not saying I'm a better mum than anyone who had their kids younger. I'm saying that for me, I'm a better mum now than I would have been in my twenties or early thirties, and here's why.

The Benefits Nobody Warns You About

We're more financially stable. Despite spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on fertility treatment, my husband and I had the time to build our careers first. Our financial position now compared to our thirties is night and day.

I appreciate time with my kids more. The older you get, the faster time moves, and I feel that every single day. I treasure moments now that I would have rushed past a decade ago.

I'm more independent, and more worldly. I've climbed the ladder I wanted to climb. I've travelled and lived a full life before motherhood, which means I'm not spending my parenting years wondering what I missed out on.

I'm more emotionally mature, and not just because of age. Going through infertility, and the eight years I've spent since working in this space, built emotional resilience I didn't have before. I specialise in nervous system regulation now, which means I've got real tools for supporting myself and my kids through the hard moments, the tantrums, the hormonal chaos of it all. That's not something I could have taught them in my twenties.

I no longer care what people think. Yes, I'm the mum in sweatpants at pickup. I don't give a shit anymore, and that freedom is enormous.

Mum guilt still shows up, but it's not debilitating the way I once feared it would be. I know what actually matters because life has handed me enough perspective to know the difference.

I'm genuinely ready this time. I thought I was ready at 33. I wasn't, not really. There were things I still needed to do, see, and learn first. Now I don't carry any regret about what I might have missed by becoming a mum later.

I'm more laid back. I don't sweat the small stuff, because I've failed enough times in life to know the world doesn't end when I get something wrong.

And somehow, my kids are keeping me young. I eat better, move more, and take care of myself in ways I didn't before, because I have to keep up with them.

What the Research Actually Says

This isn't just my experience talking. A study published in the Menopause Journal found that women who had their last child after the age of 33 were twice as likely to live to 95, compared to women who had their last child before 30.

Getting pregnant later in life isn't the death sentence the fear in your head is telling you it is. If anything, the research backs up what so many of us feel once we're on the other side of it.

If You're Sitting in That Fear Right Now

I'm not going to tell you to just be grateful for this stage of your journey. That's not helpful, and it's not honest. The waiting is hard. The not knowing is hard.

But here's what I know now that I didn't know then. I have more stability because I had time to build it. I'm more present because I understand exactly how fast this all goes. I know who I am, because I spent years questioning it until I actually found the answer. There's less noise in my head about what other people think, and more peace with the mum I actually am, instead of the one I thought I was supposed to be.

Being an older mum doesn't mean you're less than. It doesn't have to be something you fear. You can grieve the years it took to get here, and still be an incredible mum, whatever age that happens for you.

Want to hear the full conversation? Listen to Episode 13 of Ready. Set. IVF.

>> Listen on Spotify

>> Listen on Apple Podcasts