From 9 IVF cycles to fertility coach: 3 things I'd do differently if I was starting IVF again

If you've typed "IVF burnout" into Google at 3am, you're not alone, and you're not broken. You're just in the thick of one of the hardest things a body and a mind can go through, and nobody handed you a manual for how to cope with IVF stress that doesn't leave you more exhausted than when you started.

I've done nine IVF cycles. I know what it's like to be lying awake, scrolling forums, adding another supplement to the pile, convinced that if I just did more, tried harder, researched longer, I'd finally get the outcome I wanted. I also know what it's like to realise, years too late, that this approach was working against me the whole time.

That's what this week's episode of Ready. Set. IVF. is about. Three things I'd do differently if I was starting IVF again, because I'd put money on the fact you're doing the exact opposite of all of them right now.

Why IVF is so exhausting (and it's not just the injections)

Research shows that receiving an infertility diagnosis carries a psychological impact comparable to a cancer diagnosis. Let that sit for a second. Nobody expects a cancer patient to figure out their treatment plan alone, manage the emotional fallout solo, and keep smiling through it. Yet somehow, with IVF, that's exactly what we expect of ourselves.

You're scrambling. You're running on fumes. You're Googling "how do I thicken my uterine lining?" between meetings and lying awake in a TikTok wormhole at 3am, half convinced you dreamt ordering that herbal tonic. You're saying yes to the baby shower you don't want to attend because you don't know how to say no. And underneath all of it, there's a quieter, crueler thought that shows up eventually: if I can't handle this, how am I going to handle being a mom?

I want to be really clear about something. That thought is not a sign. It's what happens when you've been carrying something impossibly heavy for a long time without support.

What we get into in this episode

I walk through the three things I'd do differently if I was starting my IVF journey again, starting with investing in support. Not as a luxury add-on for when there's money left over, but as part of the treatment itself, in the same column as your acupuncture and your supplements.

Then we get into the coping mechanisms most of us default to without realising it: the research spiral, the withdrawal, the pushing it down, the anger, and the one I relate to most, doing more. Adding more supplements, more restrictions, more protocols, more perfection, and wondering why we still feel like we're failing.

I also share my Supermarket Sweep analogy, because a lot of us are doing IVF like contestants running through the aisles grabbing everything in sight, ending up with a trolley full of stuff we can't actually make a meal out of. There's a difference between frantic and intentional, and it changes everything.

The biggest takeaway

What you do 80 percent of the time matters more than what you do the other 20 percent. Not the one time you nailed it perfectly. Not the one time you fell off the wagon. Consistency without resentment, that's what actually holds up over months of treatment. Perfection was never the goal, and chasing it might be part of why IVF feels so exhausting in the first place.

Listen to Episode 4 of Ready. Set. IVF.

Listen on Spotify

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If any of this sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Come listen to the full conversation and let me know which one hit home.

Links mentioned in this episode:

The Consistency Code framework - https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/ready-set-ivf-the-consistency-code

Other links and resources:

Click here to follow me on Instagram: 
https://www.instagram.com/msjenniferrobertson/

Download our free IVF-Prep checklist and get IVF-ready without the overwhelm: 
https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/the-playbook

Join the waitlist for She is... Ready: an online program to keep you calm and grounded through IVF's hardest moments: 
https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/waitlist-she-is-ready

1:1 Coaching: 
https://www.jenniferrobertson.co/fertility-coaching